Living the Life

Despite what Bibek thinks, this was not a book about "ninja techniques". it's actually a pretty old japanese book. It was my first book by Yukio Mishima, but now that I have seen how in true japanese style, he can weave something so tight, so detailed and so deep, i am sure i am going to pick up another. mishima takes such a simple storyline and dissects the human mind and heart in a way i love. at just under 200 pages, you'd be surprised he could get you to really feel like you know the characters, but he succeeds. mishima actually committed a ritualistic suicide after finishing his tetralogy, "the sea of fertility", so if i can find it, that one will be next on my list.

i recently realised that as of late, my posts have totally shied away from all things international politics. in the past - meaning just one or two years ago - i was a fiery lover of all things asian politics. i don't know if it is living in a country that has gone in circles only to show very little sign of political improvement or if it is just an overall realisation that apathy is so much easier, but it seems as though i almost don't care about politics anymore.

i don't want to. but i do.

i recently read this article about a female north korean spy living in seoul and suddenly my heart was jolted into concern. it reminded me of how passionately i used to follow north korean affairs, how my life actually for a time pretty much revolved around it, and now, some days i feel like north korea is something i hardly know anything about... but this article and a few recent emails have reminded me that i have to press on... and that apathy is never the answer.

I long for the eyes of God - to see how He sees. I long for the heart of God - to let it be broken for the things that break His heart. I long for a hope that is a stranger to despair. I long for more.
- january 2007; first days in korea...

because I know that most of my readers probably have a semi ethnocentric view of cinema.... only knowing about the likes of people like brad and angelina... i thought i would introduce you to some of the stars of bollywood... you may think the whole song and dance deal is silly, but remember, every year more people in the world watch bollywood than watch hollywood movies... so get up on your actors ;).






who can forget about the beautiful and lovely movie, rang de basanti? aamir khan may not be that much of a looker, but the man chooses great movies to act in. i loved the rising: ballad of mangal pandey, rang de basanti, taare zameen par and a bunch of his other films. the man has played in 38 films thus far and right about now he is probably working on number 39, the suspense film "ghajini".




and last but not least, my favourite man to lust after in all of bollywood, the lovely john abraham. a lot of people aren't really that fond of him, and to be quite honest, i think my adoration is actually for the gandhi-loving character he played in the movie "water", rather than for mr. abraham himself, but in the words of bibek, the man has great dimples. aside from water, the movies "no smoking" and "kabul express" weren't bad... and for the action lovers, dhoom was a hit. in 2008, mr. abraham shot 4 movies. that's a lot of movies for one year... but i prefer quality over quantity any day... so let's hope one of them reminds me of that dashing man i first saw in water. ;)

i have a friend here in nepal that is my secret hero... i pretty much stand in awe of him. a mutual friend of ours insisted that i meet X because he is a street kid pro, so i complied. the first two times sewa and i met him, we considered him a bit socially awkward... maybe it wasn't him, but rather the huge expectation that we would automatically be friends on the basis that we have a mere one common interest that caused for forced awkwardness... or maybe it was because i forgot my nepali manners and didn't even give the poor bloke a cup of tea... but, gosh those two days were dang awkward, weren't they sewa? :) but the truth of the matter is, the more i have got to know X, the more i admire the guy. i take care of the kids that live in my house. he takes care of the kids that live in his house and that live on the streets in two different cities. i thought it was weird that i only had 3 foreign acquaintances. x has even less than that. he speaks perfect nepali with all the appropriate additives of spoken intonations. that fact alone already catapults X into the heroic category. learning and mastering another language are two different things... and he has mastered nepali.

the other day, he told me he was taking the day off from work to "sort out his life". what he meant by sort out his life was, sort out the lives of a handful of ex-street boys that don't fall under the classification of his street-kid related jobs (he has technically has three, by the way)... boys who don't even live with him (one of whom is already married), but whom X still very much considers his brothers and ultimately his responsibility. getting an "appointment" with X is like getting... i don't know, getting something very difficult. every time he is supposed to "make time to breathe" he finds himself taking care of a kid whose recently been stabbed, in the middle of an abuse emergency, or just up to his head in bureaucratic report writing to document everything that happens here on the streets of nepal. i honestly don't know how he has the energy to do it all. my school-going kids are such a big handful for me... i love them, but they are a big handful... but X... man, he is like the street kid energizer bunny. but, i am glad that we moved out of that awkward stage of friendship and he is now my legitimate friend... even if i mostly only see him via text messages or randomly in the road as he darts off to take care of some crisis situation... but he stirs me on to do more, to go deeper, to get more involved. it's good to have friends like that.

a friend of mine from college and a fellow coloradan is a member of the awesome band, the autumn film. i really love the song "because we are" off the safe and sound album... i could listen to it all day. right now if you visit their website, you can download 4 of their new songs for free. if you are from colorado, you should check out some of the upcoming shows they have in arvada, greeley, and denver. if you aren't so lucky as to live in the gorgeous rocky mountains, the albums will have to suffice until they go on tour again.

"When that ineffable compound of depression, sadness (these two are not the same), anxiety, self-hatred, sense of failure and fear for the future begins to steal over you, start telling yourself that what you have is a hangover. . . . You have not suffered a minor brain lesion, you are not all that bad at your job, your family and friends are not leagued in a conspiracy of barely maintained silence about what a shit you are, you have not come at last to see life as it really is.”
~Kingsley Amis on the topic of the "metaphysical hangover"

Nepal is a neverending adventure, isn't it? The signs say "No Petrol" and "No Diesel". Gosh, I am glad I don't have a bike. Walking is actually nice, even though I realised the other day that while I may be adjusted to the pollution here in Kathmandu, my body is still absorbing a lot more microwhatevers floating around in the air than I think it should be. Hmm..

A few days I was with two friends and got to attempt to enhance my Nepali listening skills as I listened to them debate back and forth a recent hot topic in Nepali politics. I must've been living under a rock, or else it is just because I live in the "Patan Bubble" (a cleaner, quieter, less stimulating area of the city), but somehow I missed all the rioting that happened after the new VP, Parmanand Jha took his oath in Hindi rather than Nepali.

One of my friends argued that while this is Nepal, we have far greater concerns at the minute than what language the oath is taken in. She furthered her argument by pointing out the fact that there are hundreds of various languages in Nepal and that many people, especially in the Terrai, actually DO speak Hindi as their mother tongue. Nepal is attempting to become an inclusive language, and he should be able to take the oath in whtever language he wants, she said.

But it's not Nepal's national language. Nepal is a small country that has always suffered from outsiders confusing it as nothing more than an extension of India. I am not Nepali, but in a time when Nepal has just declared itself a Republic and is trying to piece itself together with an identity of its own, it seems unbelievably insensitive that a leader would think to use any language other than Nepali when taking an oath. How would you feel if a government leader got sworn into office in a language other than your coutnry's national language?

hey dallas-fort worth dwellin friends... please check out the Veritas benefit Art and Fashion show. i'm sure it will be great fun.

i love to see what keywords and phrases that bring people to my page... this week my favourite is "i'm not living the life i want".... to the searcher... my friend, i am sure there are a lot of people who are with you on that.... but sometimes i wonder. i wonder how our western philosophy of "you can do anything and be anything" really inhibits our level of content with life. you can be and do anything and i firmly believe that, but sometimes i think about conversations with my village friends and realise there is a certain level of content - and not in a bad way - with working humbly and living humbly and not trying to always worry about who you are going to "be" and what you are going to "do".